To set resolutions or not set resolutions. That is the question.

So here we are at the end of 2015. Holy crap did this year zoom by. Did you hit the goals that you set yourself this time last year?

I have to say that I did pretty good this year. Do you set resolutions? I used to but they were too lofty or I made too many so by March I said screw it.

But last year I set high goals that may have seemed extreme to some, but made sense to me. I wanted to release 7 books in 2015 - I released 4 and I'm in the middle of another one. That's nothing to sneeze at. I wanted to lose another 50 pounds - I got three quarters of the way there.

I didn't do some of the things with book signings and such but I went out on my own and started doing things my way, so positive things still happened.

I, for one, am excited for 2016. The last two years have taught me valuable lessons in life, love, business and friendship. Lessons that I intend on taking with me into this next year.

My physical health HAS to become a number one priority. So I am enlisting in the 1,000 mile in 2016 challenge. Its to walk, run or hike 1,000 miles in 2016. Will I hit 1,000 miles? IDK. I intend on blogging about it. But at least I'm going to try!

What are your resolutions or goals for 2016?

True Friendship

True friendship is a rare jewel these days. I'm not talking about the people you hang out with at the bar or talk to everyday on Facebook. I'm talking the ones that are the first ones to show up when the chips are down or celebrate your successes like they were their own. Loyalty is almost extinct these days. It seems as if most people just want what they can get from you and then they keep it pushing. And my favorite is when they get butt hurt when you get hip to their plan and you cut it off at the pass.

So when you find that one truly loyal friend, or if you're lucky - that group of friends, hold on to that. For whatever reason, people make mistakes in judgment, and Keep the wrong ones in and the right ones out.

I am guilty of that. I listened to the wrong people, even though internally I knew better. And I walked away from someone who had my back for the better part of 20 years, thinking that I didn't know her after all. It took a random run in with one of her friends to tell me what I already knew.

I missed almost a year with one of the most loyal, ride or die best friends I have because of foolish pride. I will never get that time back, but because of the bond we have she forgave me and we're moving forward. Because that's what happens with a true friendship. You may have your ups and downs but you work through it because you love each other like sisters. There's no time for pettiness, cat fights and Mel Rose Place drama because life is too short and we have too many dreams and aspirations to help each other hit to worry about the small stuff.

Writers Block

Writing is my passion. The best thing in the world is opening a blank document and watching the word count grow by the tens of thousands. I am in my element when my fingers are racing across the keyboard, trying to keep up with the scene that is playing in my head or the character that wont shut up. I enjoy every aspect of writing, from fleshing out characters and finding plot holes to writing and even editing and rewriting.

My arch nemesis, which I'm sure is the same for all writers, is the dreaded writer's block. It can be brought on by numerous things. I'm not going to go into what it is or how we get it, because we know all of that already. Lol.

What I want from my readers is to start a dialogue about how you get over or push through yours? I'm not one for starting another project and leaving what I'm currently working on alone. I would have like a million unfinished books. If you walk away from writing all together for a while, how long of a break do you take? I'm currently trying to just put words on the screen. Even if they suck, I put the idea down and I will to back on the second run through and spruce things up. So that's what I'm trying this time around. What do you do?

Christmas Spirit

So, how's your holiday season going? The lack of snow is making things SO much easier for me this year. Are you bogged down by gifts to buy, dinners to make or impossible relatives to please?

Take a step back and breathe. This isnt what Christmas is about. We get lost in the hustle and hustle of it all and forget why we're all coming together. We're supposed to be celebrating the birth of our savior, yet we're concerned more about the deals and the gifts.

Take a break from the commercialism of it all and just hang out with friends and family. Make memories that are going to last long after the toys break.

If you're like me and Christmas isn't what it used to be when you we're a kid, do something about. Make a decision to not get swept up in the attitudes or the adult portion of it all. Give back to your community. Watch the Christmas movies you watched as a kid.

And for the love of everything holy, push away the bad memories. As someone who lost her father around Christmas, I understand why Christmas is hard. Believe me. But for our own sanity, we have to come up with new traditions that make us happy. No, we don't want to. But for the sake of moving on and not being miserable, we have to.

What does this long ramble have to do with Christmas Spirit you ask? In short, if you weren't born with it in your blood (some people just live and breathe Christmas), it is up to you to find it. Christmas is but once a year, it's time to associate it with good memories and make it fun!

PSA: Ebony Simone McMillan is a scam artist

I would like to take this time to warn my fellow authors of a scam artist that is lurking in our community. I know that she has done work for quite few of you, but I feel the need to warn my peers.

Ebony Simone McMillan offered to do me a favor and edit a book of mine. She had reviewed one of my books and set up a blog tour for me, so I thought I was in good hands. She seemed well known and well respected so I was really touched when she said that she would do it for free.

Being that it was pro bono, I said nothing when it took her six weeks, because again – she was doing me a huge favor. I set my release date when she told me she would have it done by then. Two weeks before the release date, I asked her about it. On two separate occasions, she told me that she was just about to send it to me. I brushed it off at first, because I knew that she was busy and had small children.

But then, 6 days before my book was due out – she stopped responding to any sort of communication. Texts, messages, calls, emails… she responded to nothing.And then, 3 days before the book was due out I found out that she was trying to help my old publisher fom BraveGirl Publishing – Julia Press Simmons – sabotage my release date.

I am not sure why Ebony got involved with the grudge that Julia has with me. But the fact of the matter is that her integrity has been compromised. That isn't something that our community can allow or deal with.

As authors we work too hard and too long on the things that we love to have something like this happen. There shouldn’t be manipulation, lies and backstabbing in our community. We should leave that to the politicians. 

Breaking News: The Real Story Behind the Bull Shit

So, I hadn’t planned on doing this. This back and forth social media war bullshit is ridiculous. The shit that has been done is petty as fuck, and personally, if you have an issue with me – stop being a sissy and contact me. But, since people want to be stuck on stupid – I guess it’s time I come out swinging.

It’s no secret now, that the former CEO of QMB and BraveGirl, Julia Press Simmons, had a habit of misappropriating royalties. She did it to the girls at QMB and the bitch has now done it to me. But that isn’t the problem I have. I mean, I’m not thrilled about it, and it will get handled. But, I have bigger fish to fry.

My problems started when Julia tried to build a new, “whiter” fan base (for her sci-fi books) and a “whiter” company off of my back. (A white company… with an author that writes interracial romance and a hip hop logo… let that sink in...) I was doing my work, writing my books, while getting dicked around. Here I am, thinking that we’re cool and that shit will chill out once we get off the ground – meanwhile – her bitch ass is lying to me and talking shit behind my back, the whole fucking time. All the while telling me how proud she is of me and how she wouldn’t be able to do this without me. Not once did the Queen of Mean say any of the nasty shit to me that she said she told people.

When I finally opened my eyes to all the deceit and lies – I left. I thought it was on amicable terms, which I was good with.  The constant drama and not getting things done was starting to suck the fun of writing right out of my soul. And I was tired of all the “so in so did me wrong” when I knew her fucking ass wasn’t as innocent as she portrayed.

I thought it was over. Went our separate ways. She lives in Pennsylvania. I live in Michigan. We never had to cross paths again. Julia Press Simmons stopped being a part of my vernacular the day I started Passion For Life Publishing. People asked me what happened and I gave a generic answer and moved on. I truly didn’t have time to think about what she was doing, let alone spend the time and energy hating her. Because honestly? I could give two squirts of duck shit about what schemes are going on in Philly. I’m too cocky to give a fuck.

My biggest issue is now, Miss I’m Better Than Everybody, is pissed off because I’m not part of her kiss ass chorus. So she has enlisted other people in her “passive” attempt at trying to break me. Explanation: I had met Ebony Simone McMillin on Facebook a few months ago and she did some reviews for me. We were friendly and I knew that she had some experience editing. So when she offered to edit The Wrong Side of the Mississippi for me pro bono I jumped at it (and of course, that should have been my first red flag).  

Fast forward to last week when I started getting a little nervous and she swore she’d have it to me… and then went to not returning my calls, texts and just taking down my posts on her wall. The book was due out May 16^th so I was getting highly pissed off. I started wondering what motive she had to withhold my book. I wondered if Julia had anything to do with it, but I gave Ebony way too much credit and thought that she wouldn’t aide in a sabotage. Well I found out that I was wrong. Julia did indeed, have a hand in the whole thing.

You’re asking yourself why, aren’t you? So am I. If I’m so beneath this grimy bitch, then why the fuck continue to try to fuck up my hustle? If I’m such a weakling – why take me down? That should be too easy – right? I’m here to tell you right fucking now – that your first mistake was thinking I was weak and stupid. Your second fuck up was mistaking my kindness for weakness. And your third – was pissing me off.  

To Julia and Ebony, I’d like to say thank you for fueling my hate fire. Because now, my grind has been kicked all the way up to ten – and you two miserable assholes are about to see what the fuck I’m made off. What does not kill me just pisses me off more – and I’m not dead.  

My thing is, if you’re going to be devious bitches – why be sneaky about it? The way you went about it was weak as fuck. Why wait 6 weeks to watch me sweat? Be upfront and tell me how stupid I was for trusting anybody. And if you’re as much of a bad bitch as you say you are – why have some little girl do your dirty work for you? That’s a bitch move. You can’t do things on your own – but I’m the weak one. Ha ha. Fuck you.  

To Ebony – you’re a dumb motherfucker. You fell for the same shit that everybody else did and you compromised your integrity to boot. I know you’re young and naive, so just to spell it out for you – keeping documents and not returning messages doesn’t look good to authors. Being that we work our asses off to do what we do, we like it when the people that help us out don’t have the scruples of a rattle snake. And helping an author sabotage a fellow author looks even worse. Good luck with all that. You’re going to need it. Because once I’m done – fuck you – you won’t have much of a side job.

To Julia, baby girl – you know exactly where I’m at – if you’ve got something you need to get off your chest – stop being passive aggressive about it and come at me bro. If I’m so Goddamn weak – then I should be easy prey right? So hit me with your best shot. I hate to even have to say that – cuz we’re damn near 40 and it sounds awfully silly. But enough is enough. If you would put as much effort into your own shit as you do trying to sabotage mine – you might actually hit a release date or two.  And you have “97 stories” on your hard drive so you have all sorts of release dates to hit. That should leave you with like zero time for the stalking and the worrying what I’m doing. Because again, if I’m nobody – then you have nothing to worry about except the next schmuck you’re going to sucker into your bullshit.

And I have a feeling that you got in between me and the interview I was supposed to do. It’s cool – you stopped my young adult, interracial romance and bullying books from getting to an Urban Fiction audience. :dead pan: Go team you! You were awfully proud of yourself after that, weren’t you? You probably patted yourself on the back and smoked a celebratory blunt after all that hard work. You do realize that all of this makes you look sad and pathetic, right? But then again, if the shoe fits, lace that motherfucker up and wear it.

And outside of being a spiteful, vindictive, dumb ass – I get why you did it. You thought I was going to go on the air and talk shit about you. You give yourself way too much credit. I don’t think about you until someone brings up your name.

I hadn’t planned on ever coming out publicly about what went down. I was going to keep the lies and the manipulation tactics to myself. Not only do I not have any ill feelings towards you – honey, I don’t have any feelings about you. Good, bad or indifferent. Cuz again, not on my radar (why the fuck would you be? I mean really). I chalked you screwing me over as a lesson of what not to do in business (and to listen to those red flags when they pop up, because I saw all that coming), said a prayer of thanks for you teaching me what you did and moved on.

I’m only doing this now because I’m sure shit has been spread (in a circle where nobody knows who the hell I am…until now… thanks for making me famous!!!) and after the great lengths you went through to finally get my attention, I figured I might as well throw you some scraps.

Because you’re making me look awfully damn important. Which, I mean, thank you. My name must taste like Thanksgiving dinner in your mouth with the way you’re still trying to be relevant in my world. But here’s my thing – I’m not shit – remember? I don’t know what I’m doing – weren’t those your exact words? And since I’m not feeding you, fucking you or financing you – why am I even a factor in your equation? Or are you bitch hurt because you aren’t one in mine?

I’m sorry that you felt the need to be that devious and attempt to sabotage my release date. I didn’t realize that your self-esteem was that low. I know you won’t go away, because your fragile ego won’t allow you to not at least attempt to be the center of attention. So I’m sure this won’t be our last interaction. Which I still don’t understand if you’re so happy why you’re fucking with me – but okay. Maybe you need more hugs. Or Jesus. Yes, you definitely need Jesus.

But I need to get my ass off here and get to writing – cuz these damn books won’t write themselves. So, again, if you’ve got something to say – I’m right here boo boo. And since you won’t step up – go play the victim role to those who still buy it (but grow some of these balls you say you have and tell the whole fucking story. Don’t forget to leave out the part where you brought all of this on yourself and my weak ass is fighting back). Cuz, I’m done buying tickets to that one woman show.

P.S. Fuck you. You want me to go away quietly? JULIA PRESS SIMMONS, GIVE ME MY ROYALTIES.

Real relationships do exist!

Contrary to popular belief, real relationships do exist. I am getting sick and tired of this notion of “all men/women ain’t shit” just because of one or even a slew of relationships. If you’re attracting the same type of person, it’s time to look at what the common denominator is… and that’s you. You can’t attract foxes with skunk bait, so maybe, it’s time to work on whatever is wrong with you that keeps getting into these toxic relationships.

No, I’m not saying you’re toxic. I’m saying that there’s something in you that is settling for those types of relationships. Let’s go over a few rules (ya’ll know I like my lists, you aren’t that new):

1.     

            If they make you cry, tell them by. A good friend of mine said this to me the other day, and it’s changed how I’m handling things. Your mate should never make you sad to the point where you’re crying. Happy tears, yes. Heartbroken tears, no. ESPECIALLY, in the first six months when in the honey moon period. If you’re fighting and crying within the first couple of weeks, let this be a huge red flag.

2.       

     The need to go through their phone. There shouldn’t be one. Not only should you not be insecure enough to want to scroll through his contacts and his messages, but he shouldn’t be giving you reason to do it. Not only is this a privacy issue, but it’s about trust as well. If you don’t trust him, because of past relationships, that’s one thing. But if he’s giving you reasons not to trust him, that’s another.

3.     

           Relationships are about give and take. If you’re the one always giving, and he’s the one always taking, then that’s something you need to look at. You shouldn’t have to break your bank just to keep him. You shouldn’t need to drop what you’re doing just to please him. It’s one thing if you’re not busy, but it’s okay to not be around him every second. And there should be enough respect there that he’s good with letting you get your things done first before spending time with him.

4.       

     Just say no to the emotional blackmail. There should be no “If you really love me” or “remember that time when you…” There should be no hoops to jump through to prove your loyalty or how much you love somebody. They should just know. And if you’re doing everything in your power to show them, then the problem is with them, and not you. I hear (and see) all these quotes about how sometimes love hurts. Uh, no. Love Is supposed to grow you and fulfill you, not break you down and make you feel bad about yourself.

Taking care of yourself is a huge key in getting into the right kind of relationship. Get good with being alone. I know, I know, it’s scary and it sucks. I totally get that. However, once you become okay with being single and become okay with you, you will be amazed at how the caliber of people you attract changes.

1.       Know your worth. Know that you are worth more than what has been thrown at you. It’s okay to not get in a relationship with the first guy that buys you dinner. It’s okay to make them prove that they are worthy of your time. I’m not saying string them along, but let them show you that they want to be around and they have what it takes to stick around. You have to love you before anybody else will.

2.       Let them chase you. No, this doesn’t mean play hard to get. If they’re calling you regularly and showing effort, then by all means, do the same. If a man wants you, they will make the time to call and see you, even if they can only spare a few minutes. If you’re the one calling and you’re the one chasing, like the book says, “he’s just not that into you”. And you know what? That’s okay. Because there’s someone out there that will be.

3.       Figure out what your values are. What’s important to you? What do you want in a relationship? What don’t you want? What will you compromise and what won’t you compromise on? Write these lists down, in great detail and then keep them somewhere close so you can look at them often.  

Relationships are work, but the right ones are worth it. The detective work is figuring out which ones are. And don’t settle for less. You’re worth more than that. Ain’t nobody got time to constantly be feeling like crap. And the right person won’t stand for it.