To set resolutions or not set resolutions. That is the question.

So here we are at the end of 2015. Holy crap did this year zoom by. Did you hit the goals that you set yourself this time last year?

I have to say that I did pretty good this year. Do you set resolutions? I used to but they were too lofty or I made too many so by March I said screw it.

But last year I set high goals that may have seemed extreme to some, but made sense to me. I wanted to release 7 books in 2015 - I released 4 and I'm in the middle of another one. That's nothing to sneeze at. I wanted to lose another 50 pounds - I got three quarters of the way there.

I didn't do some of the things with book signings and such but I went out on my own and started doing things my way, so positive things still happened.

I, for one, am excited for 2016. The last two years have taught me valuable lessons in life, love, business and friendship. Lessons that I intend on taking with me into this next year.

My physical health HAS to become a number one priority. So I am enlisting in the 1,000 mile in 2016 challenge. Its to walk, run or hike 1,000 miles in 2016. Will I hit 1,000 miles? IDK. I intend on blogging about it. But at least I'm going to try!

What are your resolutions or goals for 2016?

True Friendship

True friendship is a rare jewel these days. I'm not talking about the people you hang out with at the bar or talk to everyday on Facebook. I'm talking the ones that are the first ones to show up when the chips are down or celebrate your successes like they were their own. Loyalty is almost extinct these days. It seems as if most people just want what they can get from you and then they keep it pushing. And my favorite is when they get butt hurt when you get hip to their plan and you cut it off at the pass.

So when you find that one truly loyal friend, or if you're lucky - that group of friends, hold on to that. For whatever reason, people make mistakes in judgment, and Keep the wrong ones in and the right ones out.

I am guilty of that. I listened to the wrong people, even though internally I knew better. And I walked away from someone who had my back for the better part of 20 years, thinking that I didn't know her after all. It took a random run in with one of her friends to tell me what I already knew.

I missed almost a year with one of the most loyal, ride or die best friends I have because of foolish pride. I will never get that time back, but because of the bond we have she forgave me and we're moving forward. Because that's what happens with a true friendship. You may have your ups and downs but you work through it because you love each other like sisters. There's no time for pettiness, cat fights and Mel Rose Place drama because life is too short and we have too many dreams and aspirations to help each other hit to worry about the small stuff.

Writers Block

Writing is my passion. The best thing in the world is opening a blank document and watching the word count grow by the tens of thousands. I am in my element when my fingers are racing across the keyboard, trying to keep up with the scene that is playing in my head or the character that wont shut up. I enjoy every aspect of writing, from fleshing out characters and finding plot holes to writing and even editing and rewriting.

My arch nemesis, which I'm sure is the same for all writers, is the dreaded writer's block. It can be brought on by numerous things. I'm not going to go into what it is or how we get it, because we know all of that already. Lol.

What I want from my readers is to start a dialogue about how you get over or push through yours? I'm not one for starting another project and leaving what I'm currently working on alone. I would have like a million unfinished books. If you walk away from writing all together for a while, how long of a break do you take? I'm currently trying to just put words on the screen. Even if they suck, I put the idea down and I will to back on the second run through and spruce things up. So that's what I'm trying this time around. What do you do?

Christmas Spirit

So, how's your holiday season going? The lack of snow is making things SO much easier for me this year. Are you bogged down by gifts to buy, dinners to make or impossible relatives to please?

Take a step back and breathe. This isnt what Christmas is about. We get lost in the hustle and hustle of it all and forget why we're all coming together. We're supposed to be celebrating the birth of our savior, yet we're concerned more about the deals and the gifts.

Take a break from the commercialism of it all and just hang out with friends and family. Make memories that are going to last long after the toys break.

If you're like me and Christmas isn't what it used to be when you we're a kid, do something about. Make a decision to not get swept up in the attitudes or the adult portion of it all. Give back to your community. Watch the Christmas movies you watched as a kid.

And for the love of everything holy, push away the bad memories. As someone who lost her father around Christmas, I understand why Christmas is hard. Believe me. But for our own sanity, we have to come up with new traditions that make us happy. No, we don't want to. But for the sake of moving on and not being miserable, we have to.

What does this long ramble have to do with Christmas Spirit you ask? In short, if you weren't born with it in your blood (some people just live and breathe Christmas), it is up to you to find it. Christmas is but once a year, it's time to associate it with good memories and make it fun!

PSA: Ebony Simone McMillan is a scam artist

I would like to take this time to warn my fellow authors of a scam artist that is lurking in our community. I know that she has done work for quite few of you, but I feel the need to warn my peers.

Ebony Simone McMillan offered to do me a favor and edit a book of mine. She had reviewed one of my books and set up a blog tour for me, so I thought I was in good hands. She seemed well known and well respected so I was really touched when she said that she would do it for free.

Being that it was pro bono, I said nothing when it took her six weeks, because again – she was doing me a huge favor. I set my release date when she told me she would have it done by then. Two weeks before the release date, I asked her about it. On two separate occasions, she told me that she was just about to send it to me. I brushed it off at first, because I knew that she was busy and had small children.

But then, 6 days before my book was due out – she stopped responding to any sort of communication. Texts, messages, calls, emails… she responded to nothing.And then, 3 days before the book was due out I found out that she was trying to help my old publisher fom BraveGirl Publishing – Julia Press Simmons – sabotage my release date.

I am not sure why Ebony got involved with the grudge that Julia has with me. But the fact of the matter is that her integrity has been compromised. That isn't something that our community can allow or deal with.

As authors we work too hard and too long on the things that we love to have something like this happen. There shouldn’t be manipulation, lies and backstabbing in our community. We should leave that to the politicians. 

Breaking News: The Real Story Behind the Bull Shit

So, I hadn’t planned on doing this. This back and forth social media war bullshit is ridiculous. The shit that has been done is petty as fuck, and personally, if you have an issue with me – stop being a sissy and contact me. But, since people want to be stuck on stupid – I guess it’s time I come out swinging.

It’s no secret now, that the former CEO of QMB and BraveGirl, Julia Press Simmons, had a habit of misappropriating royalties. She did it to the girls at QMB and the bitch has now done it to me. But that isn’t the problem I have. I mean, I’m not thrilled about it, and it will get handled. But, I have bigger fish to fry.

My problems started when Julia tried to build a new, “whiter” fan base (for her sci-fi books) and a “whiter” company off of my back. (A white company… with an author that writes interracial romance and a hip hop logo… let that sink in...) I was doing my work, writing my books, while getting dicked around. Here I am, thinking that we’re cool and that shit will chill out once we get off the ground – meanwhile – her bitch ass is lying to me and talking shit behind my back, the whole fucking time. All the while telling me how proud she is of me and how she wouldn’t be able to do this without me. Not once did the Queen of Mean say any of the nasty shit to me that she said she told people.

When I finally opened my eyes to all the deceit and lies – I left. I thought it was on amicable terms, which I was good with.  The constant drama and not getting things done was starting to suck the fun of writing right out of my soul. And I was tired of all the “so in so did me wrong” when I knew her fucking ass wasn’t as innocent as she portrayed.

I thought it was over. Went our separate ways. She lives in Pennsylvania. I live in Michigan. We never had to cross paths again. Julia Press Simmons stopped being a part of my vernacular the day I started Passion For Life Publishing. People asked me what happened and I gave a generic answer and moved on. I truly didn’t have time to think about what she was doing, let alone spend the time and energy hating her. Because honestly? I could give two squirts of duck shit about what schemes are going on in Philly. I’m too cocky to give a fuck.

My biggest issue is now, Miss I’m Better Than Everybody, is pissed off because I’m not part of her kiss ass chorus. So she has enlisted other people in her “passive” attempt at trying to break me. Explanation: I had met Ebony Simone McMillin on Facebook a few months ago and she did some reviews for me. We were friendly and I knew that she had some experience editing. So when she offered to edit The Wrong Side of the Mississippi for me pro bono I jumped at it (and of course, that should have been my first red flag).  

Fast forward to last week when I started getting a little nervous and she swore she’d have it to me… and then went to not returning my calls, texts and just taking down my posts on her wall. The book was due out May 16^th so I was getting highly pissed off. I started wondering what motive she had to withhold my book. I wondered if Julia had anything to do with it, but I gave Ebony way too much credit and thought that she wouldn’t aide in a sabotage. Well I found out that I was wrong. Julia did indeed, have a hand in the whole thing.

You’re asking yourself why, aren’t you? So am I. If I’m so beneath this grimy bitch, then why the fuck continue to try to fuck up my hustle? If I’m such a weakling – why take me down? That should be too easy – right? I’m here to tell you right fucking now – that your first mistake was thinking I was weak and stupid. Your second fuck up was mistaking my kindness for weakness. And your third – was pissing me off.  

To Julia and Ebony, I’d like to say thank you for fueling my hate fire. Because now, my grind has been kicked all the way up to ten – and you two miserable assholes are about to see what the fuck I’m made off. What does not kill me just pisses me off more – and I’m not dead.  

My thing is, if you’re going to be devious bitches – why be sneaky about it? The way you went about it was weak as fuck. Why wait 6 weeks to watch me sweat? Be upfront and tell me how stupid I was for trusting anybody. And if you’re as much of a bad bitch as you say you are – why have some little girl do your dirty work for you? That’s a bitch move. You can’t do things on your own – but I’m the weak one. Ha ha. Fuck you.  

To Ebony – you’re a dumb motherfucker. You fell for the same shit that everybody else did and you compromised your integrity to boot. I know you’re young and naive, so just to spell it out for you – keeping documents and not returning messages doesn’t look good to authors. Being that we work our asses off to do what we do, we like it when the people that help us out don’t have the scruples of a rattle snake. And helping an author sabotage a fellow author looks even worse. Good luck with all that. You’re going to need it. Because once I’m done – fuck you – you won’t have much of a side job.

To Julia, baby girl – you know exactly where I’m at – if you’ve got something you need to get off your chest – stop being passive aggressive about it and come at me bro. If I’m so Goddamn weak – then I should be easy prey right? So hit me with your best shot. I hate to even have to say that – cuz we’re damn near 40 and it sounds awfully silly. But enough is enough. If you would put as much effort into your own shit as you do trying to sabotage mine – you might actually hit a release date or two.  And you have “97 stories” on your hard drive so you have all sorts of release dates to hit. That should leave you with like zero time for the stalking and the worrying what I’m doing. Because again, if I’m nobody – then you have nothing to worry about except the next schmuck you’re going to sucker into your bullshit.

And I have a feeling that you got in between me and the interview I was supposed to do. It’s cool – you stopped my young adult, interracial romance and bullying books from getting to an Urban Fiction audience. :dead pan: Go team you! You were awfully proud of yourself after that, weren’t you? You probably patted yourself on the back and smoked a celebratory blunt after all that hard work. You do realize that all of this makes you look sad and pathetic, right? But then again, if the shoe fits, lace that motherfucker up and wear it.

And outside of being a spiteful, vindictive, dumb ass – I get why you did it. You thought I was going to go on the air and talk shit about you. You give yourself way too much credit. I don’t think about you until someone brings up your name.

I hadn’t planned on ever coming out publicly about what went down. I was going to keep the lies and the manipulation tactics to myself. Not only do I not have any ill feelings towards you – honey, I don’t have any feelings about you. Good, bad or indifferent. Cuz again, not on my radar (why the fuck would you be? I mean really). I chalked you screwing me over as a lesson of what not to do in business (and to listen to those red flags when they pop up, because I saw all that coming), said a prayer of thanks for you teaching me what you did and moved on.

I’m only doing this now because I’m sure shit has been spread (in a circle where nobody knows who the hell I am…until now… thanks for making me famous!!!) and after the great lengths you went through to finally get my attention, I figured I might as well throw you some scraps.

Because you’re making me look awfully damn important. Which, I mean, thank you. My name must taste like Thanksgiving dinner in your mouth with the way you’re still trying to be relevant in my world. But here’s my thing – I’m not shit – remember? I don’t know what I’m doing – weren’t those your exact words? And since I’m not feeding you, fucking you or financing you – why am I even a factor in your equation? Or are you bitch hurt because you aren’t one in mine?

I’m sorry that you felt the need to be that devious and attempt to sabotage my release date. I didn’t realize that your self-esteem was that low. I know you won’t go away, because your fragile ego won’t allow you to not at least attempt to be the center of attention. So I’m sure this won’t be our last interaction. Which I still don’t understand if you’re so happy why you’re fucking with me – but okay. Maybe you need more hugs. Or Jesus. Yes, you definitely need Jesus.

But I need to get my ass off here and get to writing – cuz these damn books won’t write themselves. So, again, if you’ve got something to say – I’m right here boo boo. And since you won’t step up – go play the victim role to those who still buy it (but grow some of these balls you say you have and tell the whole fucking story. Don’t forget to leave out the part where you brought all of this on yourself and my weak ass is fighting back). Cuz, I’m done buying tickets to that one woman show.

P.S. Fuck you. You want me to go away quietly? JULIA PRESS SIMMONS, GIVE ME MY ROYALTIES.

Real relationships do exist!

Contrary to popular belief, real relationships do exist. I am getting sick and tired of this notion of “all men/women ain’t shit” just because of one or even a slew of relationships. If you’re attracting the same type of person, it’s time to look at what the common denominator is… and that’s you. You can’t attract foxes with skunk bait, so maybe, it’s time to work on whatever is wrong with you that keeps getting into these toxic relationships.

No, I’m not saying you’re toxic. I’m saying that there’s something in you that is settling for those types of relationships. Let’s go over a few rules (ya’ll know I like my lists, you aren’t that new):

1.     

            If they make you cry, tell them by. A good friend of mine said this to me the other day, and it’s changed how I’m handling things. Your mate should never make you sad to the point where you’re crying. Happy tears, yes. Heartbroken tears, no. ESPECIALLY, in the first six months when in the honey moon period. If you’re fighting and crying within the first couple of weeks, let this be a huge red flag.

2.       

     The need to go through their phone. There shouldn’t be one. Not only should you not be insecure enough to want to scroll through his contacts and his messages, but he shouldn’t be giving you reason to do it. Not only is this a privacy issue, but it’s about trust as well. If you don’t trust him, because of past relationships, that’s one thing. But if he’s giving you reasons not to trust him, that’s another.

3.     

           Relationships are about give and take. If you’re the one always giving, and he’s the one always taking, then that’s something you need to look at. You shouldn’t have to break your bank just to keep him. You shouldn’t need to drop what you’re doing just to please him. It’s one thing if you’re not busy, but it’s okay to not be around him every second. And there should be enough respect there that he’s good with letting you get your things done first before spending time with him.

4.       

     Just say no to the emotional blackmail. There should be no “If you really love me” or “remember that time when you…” There should be no hoops to jump through to prove your loyalty or how much you love somebody. They should just know. And if you’re doing everything in your power to show them, then the problem is with them, and not you. I hear (and see) all these quotes about how sometimes love hurts. Uh, no. Love Is supposed to grow you and fulfill you, not break you down and make you feel bad about yourself.

Taking care of yourself is a huge key in getting into the right kind of relationship. Get good with being alone. I know, I know, it’s scary and it sucks. I totally get that. However, once you become okay with being single and become okay with you, you will be amazed at how the caliber of people you attract changes.

1.       Know your worth. Know that you are worth more than what has been thrown at you. It’s okay to not get in a relationship with the first guy that buys you dinner. It’s okay to make them prove that they are worthy of your time. I’m not saying string them along, but let them show you that they want to be around and they have what it takes to stick around. You have to love you before anybody else will.

2.       Let them chase you. No, this doesn’t mean play hard to get. If they’re calling you regularly and showing effort, then by all means, do the same. If a man wants you, they will make the time to call and see you, even if they can only spare a few minutes. If you’re the one calling and you’re the one chasing, like the book says, “he’s just not that into you”. And you know what? That’s okay. Because there’s someone out there that will be.

3.       Figure out what your values are. What’s important to you? What do you want in a relationship? What don’t you want? What will you compromise and what won’t you compromise on? Write these lists down, in great detail and then keep them somewhere close so you can look at them often.  

Relationships are work, but the right ones are worth it. The detective work is figuring out which ones are. And don’t settle for less. You’re worth more than that. Ain’t nobody got time to constantly be feeling like crap. And the right person won’t stand for it. 

When you find out who your friends are

I have this amazing knack for letting the wrong ones in and keeping the right ones out (that Aerosmith lyric was written about me, I swear it). My biggest problem is that even with all the bad that I've seen that the wrong that's been done to me, I still see things through rose colored glasses and see the good in people. Yeah, I see them for who they really are, but I have a gift for seeing their potential, what they could be, so I ignore what's right in front of me and continue looking through my rose colored glasses. Because, let's face it, rose is a prettier color than reality.

Some people call it a gift and say that after everything I've been through that it's great that I can still do that. I'm starting to see it as a curse. My kindness is being taken for weakness and to be perfectly honest, it hurts. So, I'm on a quest on how to still be kind but not be seen as a target or stupid. I am a lot of things, but stupid isn't on the top of the list. I will keep you posted on how that goes, because honestly, I have no idea where to start. LOL.

But there is one thing I do know. This gift/curse works in my favor at because I have some of the best people in my inner circle that I could ever ask for. Even when I push them away and I swear that they're wrong this time, they pick up the phone when I call crying and they resist the temptation to tell me I told you so. My friends know me better than I think I really give them credit for. They know when to leave me alone and when to come pushing through the door and make me deal with them, even if I don't want to.

I've been going through some pretty hard things lately, with leaving one label, and then starting my own. Along with a few other things. Those "few other things" had me questioning loyalty and that was one thing you should never have to do with your inner circle. You should just know. I was so skeptical about everything around me, I almost didn't let someone new in. Luckily, she figured out how to deal with me and just handled the situation, because honestly, at this point, I'd be lost without her.

When things got crazy and I didn't want to see what was right in front of me, my friends pulled the rose colored glasses off me and made me see reality. Not because they're mean, but because it's better for me. And when the smoke cleared and the dust settled, my real ride or dies were still standing. I have had to go to a few of them a day just to stay standing at times, but because they are true friends, they don't mind. They haven't judged my situation and told me to knock it off when I judged it.

I've learned a few things about friends/people/life lately:

1. For the love of cheesecake, when someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME (if you never learn anything else from my blog or my books again, PLEASE let this be the one thing you do take away).

2. Not all people are good.

3. Not all people are bad.

4. Not all people deserve second chances.

5. If they didn't deserve a second chance, they don't deserve a third, fourth or fifth.

6. It is okay to cut people out of your life and you don't have to do it with dramatic fanfare.

7. Friends don't say what you want to hear. Friends say what you need to hear.

8. With your real friends? You can have disagreements and even arguments but at the end of the day, ya'll still love each other so again with no need for dramatic fanfare.

These are very important lessons that I will take with me as I move forward in my journey to become a better me in hopes that I will also become a better friend (Better friend, yes. Any less stubborn or bull headed - probably not. Sorry inner circle, there's only so much changing a girl can do at one time).

Points of View

Forgive my lateness, but I wanted to be able to give this topic the time it deserved. Over the last few days, I've had several writer friends come to me and ask me what first and third person points of view were and when to use them. So, let's discuss that shall we?

Types of Point of View
 
Objective Point of View
With the objective point of view, the writer tells what happens without stating more than can be inferred from the story's action and dialogue. The narrator never discloses anything about what the characters think or feel, remaining a detached observer.

Third Person Point of View
Here the narrator does not participate in the action of the story as one of the characters, but lets us know exactly how the characters feel. We learn about the characters through this outside voice.

First Person Point of View
In the first person point of view, the narrator does participate in the action of the story. When reading stories in the first person, we need to realize that what the narrator is recounting might not be the objective truth. We should question the trustworthiness of the accounting.

Omniscient and Limited Omniscient Points of View
A narrator who knows everything about all the characters is all knowing, or omniscient.
A narrator whose knowledge is limited to one character, either major or minor, has a limited omniscient point of view.
As you read a piece of fiction think about these things:
How does the point of view affect your responses to the characters? How is your response influenced by how much the narrator knows and how objective he or she is? First person narrators are not always trustworthy. It is up to you to determine what is the truth and what is not.

I just found an article that breaks it down even a little better...


Point of view is the perspective from which a story is told. We may choose to tell our story in

• first person, using "I" or "we";
• third person ("he," "she," "it"), which can be limited or omniscient; or
• second person, "you," the least common point of view.

As a writer, you must think strategically to choose the point of view that will allow you to most effectively develop your characters and tell your story

.

First Person Point of View

First person limits the reader to one character's perspective. With a book such as On the Road, for instance, the first person point of view puts us right there in the car with Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty; we follow Sal's every exhilarating thought as they careen across the country. First person feels more personal.What about unreliable narrators and first person? See an example of unreliable narrator from Chang-rae Lee's A Gesture Life.

Third Person Point of View

Though first person can be powerful, as the examples above illustrate, third person is actually the more versatile point of view. Third person allows you to create a much richer, more complicated universe. A book such as Anna Karenina, for example, could only have been written in third person. One reader, Wendy, put it this way: "When I write in first person, I tend to make the story more personal to me, which can limit how far I will go with a character. Third person isn't as much about me, and I

Try a New Point of View

Nevertheless, beginning writers tend to fall back on first person, either because it's easier or because they are indeed writing about themselves. Even if your story is autobiographical, consider trying third person. Doing this will actually help you to view your story more dispassionately and therefore allow you to tell it more effectively. It might also show you directions for the story you haven't considered before.At first, it may be easiest to use third person limited, which still adheres closely to one person's point of view. As your plots become more complicated, you may find you need more than one point of view to tell your story and begin to use omniscient.
If you keep hitting a wall in a story or novel, consider switching point of view. For most people, this will involve going from first person to third. Beginning writers may groan at the idea of rewriting an entire story, but for professional writers, such experimentation is par for the course. If it's your first time to consider such a switch, this point-of-view exercise will lead you through it. You might also read a discussion on point of view from a blog post. In it, a number of writers share what's worked for them regarding point of view.

Free For All Friday: Last Time I Checked - it wasn't 1950 anymore

I wasn’t sure whether to title today’s rant what I did or “Are you kidding me right now?!?!” with a bunch of &@! To Bleep out the four and five letter words that I really want to say. Which is what happens when I happen upon what I’m about to rant about.

                So, let’s get to what I’m talking about, shall we? The last time I checked, it wasn’t the 1950’s anymore. Jim Crowe laws are abolished, the outcome of Loving v. Virginia is now celebrated every June and poodle skirts are now part of art department costume jewelry.

                If this is correct, and I’m not stuck in a time warp, then explain to me why the only way my interracial themed romance books will be published the way I want them to be is if I go to an indy publisher or open up something myself, so I can do it my way?

                Let me explain. About 13 years ago, I was kicking around the idea of writing strictly interracial romance (black male, white female to be more exact) but I really wanted to be published when I grew up, so I wasn’t sure that I should, since I didn’t see a big market for it.

                Then one day I was at a bargain bookstore and ran across a bm/ww book, published by Kensington Press. I got 18 types of excited, bought the book, ran home, plopped on the couch and didn’t move until I was done reading it.

                It was GREAT. The plot was awesome, the editing was on point, I researched the company and off I went on becoming a strictly interracial couple romance writer. I bookmarked the site and decided that they were who I was going to submit to when I was ready.

                “When I was ready” didn’t happen until about 9 years later when I was in the middle of writing The Wrong Side of the Mississippi, again. I had Northern Lights and Learning the Hard Way ready, but I just knew that Wrong Side was the one I needed to lead off with.  So I went straight to

Kensington to see what my requirements were, and about fell out of my seat. They weren’t taking submissions that were black male and white female. They would take black female and any other race of male, but they weren’t buying what I was selling.

                So after picking myself up and dusting myself off, I said “Well they aren’t the only game in town, I’ll go to Harlequin.” I wanted to write for them since my early twenties anyway, so I was good with that. Harlequin was having a contest called “So You Think You Can Write?” and I was sure I could win it, because Wrong Side is just that good. So I hit the link to the guidelines and again, my jaw hit the floor. They don’t take bm/ww either. They had the same rules that Kensington did as well.

                I spent two days researching big publishing houses and they all had the same guidelines. One told me that if I changed my characters, they would accept me. *blank stare* For those of you who know me, you know that I would never see my name on the front cover of a book, than change who I am or what I believe in just to appease some suit.

                So I started looking at indy publishing houses and every single one of them were open to what I was writing. In fact, Wrong Side was what I sent to BraveGirl (when it was the now defunct Queen Midas Books) when she originally signed me. First publisher I sent it to, it got picked up.

                Outside of bragging rights, I said that last part for a reason. If the manuscript is good, then what does it matter what race the characters are?

                In a world where the literary industry is being littered with remakes and cookie cutter stories, why isn’t there room for well written stories with interracial couples? There’s vampire/human, vampire/werewolf and shapeshifter/human and witch/human, so why can’t it be black and white?

At my first book signing, another author picked up Northern Lights part one and said “Young adult interracial??? You don’t see a lot of that.” As she was handing me money for the book.

In a world where that is becoming more and more the norm, my question is “why not?”
              

  If the answer is as simple as “paranormal is in and regular romance is out” then I’ll back down and take my lumps. Fads come in and out and styles go retro all the time, so I’ll just keep doing me until what I write is back in.

But if the answer is because the powers that be still don’t want to see black men and white women together, then that’s something we need to talk about. Instead of doing what they want to see, these executives need to put their finger on the pulse of their readers and see what they want to read about. And what gender are 98% of romance readers? Women.

I keep hearing that “Racism is dead. We have a black president!” (That’s a whole other rant – don’t worry, I won’t go off in a tangent.) If it is, we need to start acting like it and accepting all forms of literature (as long as it’s good, of course) into our companies. We need to give the readers what they want, not what certain people think we need to see. If it’s really not about race, then censoring black male/white female books shouldn’t be happening.

With the emergence of self-publishing and Indy companies, it’s making the market harder to get a head in, even if it’s easier to break into. People are shying away from the bigger companies because of issues like these.

Indy publishing houses don’t always have the financial backing to help with pesky things like marketing. So we have to do it ourselves, but having the freedom to write what we want, the way we want them, is worth the tradeoff.

Honestly, I was really disappointed in Harlequinn and it saddens me that I can’t write for them. I’m always going to be true to who I am, so there’s no way that my books will ever change just to get my foot in the door. But the end of the day, I have to do what I’m passionate about. Because that’s my motto. Do it with passion, or not at all. 

To live healthy, you have to have healthy friends

To continue our discussion on how to get healthy, let's talk about the company we keep. What do the people around you have to do with whether you have a healthy life you ask? Honestly? More than you realize. Not everyone wants to see you succeed. They're so miserable with their lives that rather than follow your example and do something constructive and positive, they'd rather tear you down and bring you down to their level. Misery truly loves company.

In the last year, I've learned that even if they're in your boat, they may not be rowing with you. Instead, they're drilling holes in your boat because they don't want to feel like you're out doing them. It is impossible to stay in a positive frame of mind for long when you're around Negative Nancy's on a regular basis.

Let me back up. I'm not saying that everybody is out to get you. Some people are just stuck and don't know how to get themselves on the right track. We love them from a distance and do our own thing. Try to help them but they are the only ones that can make the necessary changes to be more positive. And getting out of that rut is hard. Especially if the people around you are in the same space. Surround yourself with like minded people. They will understand where you're coming from and encourage you when you get discouraged. And you will. Because life is hard. But you're more likely to bounce back faster if you have someone telling you "this is going to pass", "you so got this" than if they're encouraging you to do things contrary to your goals.

Here's the thing. Like minded people tend to flock to each other. Your unmotivated friends will start to back off you once you start doing better for yourself and that's fine. They're doing you a favor. And that's not saying that you don't love them or that you don't have fun with them, but if they aren't on the same path you're on, then it may be a good idea to find people that are.

Life is too short to not be happy. And part of living a healthy lifestyle is trying to be as happy as possible. Can you be happy all of the time? No. But being treated like you're doing something wrong because you're doing something positive with your life isn't something you have time for. Neither is being used for what you've acquired.

You're worth more than that. And it's time to start tightening up the friend's circle and only deal with people that see that.

Once you cut the fat, so to speak, you'll be amazed at how you feel. And how much easier it is to stay on task and get things done.

I totally sound like a scolding parent. LOL. I just know about this one from personal experience, so I know about the ten pound weight that is lifted once you cut toxic people loose. And it's not because you're better than they are. You just want different things now and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to explain yourself to them or anybody else. You just want to be happier. And there's no shame in that.

To live healthy, you have to eat helathy

In continuing on with my "Living Healthy" series, we of course have to conquer the whole eating healthy aspect of it. I'm not going to preach to you about why, because that's obvious. Well, I am, but I'm going to skip over the weigh less, live longer speech. I plan on focusing on more about how eating and what you're eating makes you feel, both physically and mentally.

Food for us is a lot like fuel for a car. If you put the good stuff in a car, it drives better, gets you farther and acts right. And that's a lot like our bodies. If we continually injest sugar and stuff that isn't good for us, then we feel sluggish and lack the energy to do the things we need to do.

That affects us mentally as well. If we eat the wrong things or if we don't eat enough, then we can't focus or our mood is off and that certainly isn't good for those around us.

In order to maintain balance, a healthy diet is essential. We all know how to do that, so I'm not going to bore you with portion sizes and meal ideas. I am, however, going to suggest a little #lifehack that makes things easier.

Drinking water helps keep you on track. It keeps you hydrated and helps you stay full. Adding fruits to your water helps not only with natural flavor but depending on what you put in it, it can also help with energy, mood, weight loss and that's just to name a few.

There's one important thing to remember as you're trying to eat healthy. You must eat to live but don't live to eat. Don't center your whole world around food. Eat just enough to keep you full, satisfied and nourished.

March: Book vs. Movie Monday - The Princess Bride

I love, love, love the movie The Princess Bride. And by love I mean I can quote the movie line for line. I watch it at LEAST four or five times a year. Yet, I never got around to reading the book. So when I started doing this series (which for those of you who are new to the blog, I do a movie vs. book discussion once a month), I knew that I just had to finally read it.

And when I did, I learned a whole lot of things that I didn't know. It's so interesting that now I'm obsessed with it and I am bound and determined to get to Florin before I die.

The book was originally written in 1973 by William Goldman. It is presented as an abridgement of
the book by S. Morgenstern. However, it is rumored that no such book exists and that Goldman is S. Morgenstern.

In reading up a little more on it for the sake of this blog post, I'm finding out that a lot of what Goldman said in his intro to the book is false as well. And this makes me sad, because he indicates that the book was based on real events. There will be more research into this, if only for me to figure out what is going on.

For those of you who have lived under a rock, or are under like 25 and have no idea what movie I'm talking about, here is the Wikipedia plot summary:

In a Renaissance-era world a beautiful young woman named Buttercup lives on a farm in the country of Florin. She delights in verbally abusing the farm hand Westley, whom she addresses as "farm boy," by demanding that he perform chores for her. Westley's response to her demands is always "As you wish." She eventually realizes that what he is really saying is, "I love you." After Buttercup realizes as well that she truly and strongly loves him and confesses her mutually strong romantic feelings, Westley leaves to seek his fortune, so they can marry. Buttercup later receives word that the Dread Pirate Roberts, who is notorious for killing all those whose vessels he boards, attacked his ship at sea. Believing Westley dead, Buttercup sinks into abject despair, declaring "I will never love again." Some time later she reluctantly agrees to marry Prince Humperdinck, heir to the throne of Florin, due to a law allowing the prince to choose any unmarried woman as his bride, though she makes it clear that she does not love him.

Before the wedding, a trio of outlaws—the Sicilian criminal genius Vizzini, the Spanish fencing master Inigo Montoya, and the enormous and mighty Turkish wrestler Fezzik—kidnap Buttercup. A masked man in black follows them across the sea and up the Cliffs of Insanity, whereupon Vizzini orders Inigo to stop him. Before the man in black reaches the top of the cliff, there is a flashback of Inigo's past in which the novel reveals that he is seeking revenge on a six-fingered man who killed his father. When the man in black arrives, Inigo arranges a fair fight, allowing his opponent to rest before the duel. The man in black wins the duel, but out of respect he leaves the Spaniard alive. Stunned, Vizzini orders Fezzik to kill the man in black. Another flashback occurs detailing Fezzik's history of reluctant fighting matches since childhood. His conscience compelling him, Fezzik throws a rock as a warning and challenges the man to a wrestling match. The man in black accepts the challenge and chokes Fezzik until the giant blacks out. He then catches up with Vizzini and proposes a battle of wits, in which he tricks Vizzini into drinking wine poisoned with iocaine powder, killing him.

With Prince Humperdinck's rescue party in hot pursuit, the man in black flees with Buttercup. He taunts Buttercup, claiming that women cannot be trusted and that she must have felt nothing when her true love and sweetheart had died. Enraged, she shoves him into a gorge, yelling "You can die, too, for all I care!" only to hear him call, "As you wish!" from the bottom of the ravine. She realizes at this point that he is none other than her dearly beloved Westley, and follows him down into the gorge, to find him battered but largely unhurt. While traveling through the Fire Swamp to evade Humperdinck's party, Westley tells Buttercup that the Dread Pirate Roberts did attack his ship, but kept him alive after he explained the depths of his love for her. Westley became the Dread Pirate Roberts' valet, and later his friend. Over the course of four years, Westley learned how to fence, fight and sail. Eventually, Roberts secretly passed his name, captaincy, and ship to Westley, just as his predecessor had done. After facing many trying ordeals such as Snow Sand and Rodents of Unusual Size, Westley and Buttercup successfully negotiate the Fire Swamp, whereupon they are captured by Prince Humperdinck and his cruel six-fingered assistant, Count Tyrone Rugen. Buttercup negotiates for Westley's release and returns with Humperdinck to the palace to await their wedding. Rugen follows Humperdinck's secret instructions to not release Westley but to take him to the fifth level of his underground hunting arena the "Zoo of Death". Here Rugen gravely tortures and weakens Westley with his horribly painful life-sucking invention, "The Machine," to obtain first-hand information for completing his definitive book on pain along with appeasing Humperdinck's annoyance that Buttercup does and always will prefer Westley to him.

Meanwhile, Buttercup has several nightmares regarding her marriage to the prince. She expresses her unhappiness to Humperdinck, who proposes a deal wherein he will send out four ships to locate Westley, but if they fail to find him, Buttercup will marry him. The novel reveals that, in order to start a war with the neighboring country of Guilder, Humperdinck himself had arranged Buttercup's kidnapping and murder, but that he now believes that Buttercup dying on her wedding night will inspire his subjects to war even more effectively.

On the day of the wedding, Inigo meets again with Fezzik, who tells him that Count Rugen is the six-fingered man who killed his father. Knowing that Vizzini is dead, they seek out the man in black hoping that, if he could outsmart Vizzini, his wits will help them plan a successful attack on the castle to find and kill Count Rugen. Buttercup learns that Humperdinck never sent any ships, and taunts him with her enduring love for Westley. Enraged, Humperdinck tortures Westley to death via The Machine at its maximum setting. Westley's death screams echo across the land, drawing Inigo and Fezzik to the Zoo of Death and down through its many dangerous levels. Finding Westley's body, they enlist the help of the King of Florin's former "miracle man," a magician named Miracle Max who was fired by Humperdinck. Max pronounces Westley to be merely "mostly dead", and returns him to life (out of a desire to get back at Humperdinck), though Westley remains partially paralyzed and weak.

Westley devises a successful plan to invade the castle during the wedding, and the commotion caused by this prompts Humperdinck to cut the wedding short. Buttercup decides to commit suicide when she reaches the honeymoon suite. Inigo pursues Rugen through the castle, and, reciting aloud his long-rehearsed oath of vengeance ("Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.") throughout the duel, kills him in a sword fight. Westley reaches Buttercup before she commits suicide. Still partially paralyzed, he bluffs his way out of a sword fight with Humperdinck, who shows himself to be a coward. Instead of killing his rival, Westley decides to leave him alive for a long, miserable life with his obvious cowardice as his only companion. The party then rides off into the sunset on four of the prince's purebred white horses which Fezzik had conveniently discovered. The story ends with a series of mishaps and the prince's men closing in, but the author indicates that he believes that the group got away.

So let's get into the break down of book versus movie, shall we?

The book, par usual, has a lot of action scenes that the movie does not. It goes more into Buttercup's home life and how her love for Westley got started. It has the Zoo of Death, which was actually pretty cool and would have been really neat in the movie. In fact, if there's ever a remake, they should put that in there. (Not that there should ever be a remake of the movie - there is only one Fezzik.) And there's a more finite ending in that the epilogue is about Buttercup's baby.

And that is about where my love for the book started and ended. Goldman spends 15% of the book going on and on about why he re-did the book and how he had to struggle to get it made into the movie. He says that he took out of the parts that dragged on, but I'm here to tell you, he didn't take all of them. Yes, he took out 65 pages that described Prince Humperdink's lineage, and for that, I am thankful. But he didn't take out a lot of the description that didn't make the book less boring. 

The version of the book that I have is the 30th anniversary version. It may have flowed a little better if Goldman was interjecting more unneccessary commentary into the mix. I found it very hard to continue the book, but put it on my "what not to do" list.

Now, on to the movie. I promise I will stick to the premise of the movie and not go on a fan rant. Maybe. Okay, not too much of one anyway. Going on the idea that there is an S. Morgenstern and that Goldman did indeed take out the boring parts and just give us the good stuff. Rob Reiner then sifted through the material and took out the overwhelming detail and just gave us the parts of the book that would translate well on to the screen. 

It is supposed to be a satirical poke at Europe and all that, but I don't feel like it's the stupid-funny that most satires are (Scream... all the Wayan's brother movies... etc). It's hilarious and yes, sometimes cheesy but it has something about it that makes it a cult classic and still stands the test of time for all ages and all types of people. 

So, without really meaning too, I laid out the similiarities and the differences when describing the book and the movie. The other difference is, that the movie starts out with a sick Fred Savage and his grandfather coming over to read to him. And through out the movie Fred interjects, pulling them back to present time. This is supposed to represent how Goldman was told the story by his father when Goldman was sick as a child. 

It is a nice added touch and it doesn't distract from the movie at all. 

With all that said, I really have to conclude that the movie is better than the book. By far. I am glad that I read the book, but I have no need to read it again, where as I'll be watching the movie as soon as I get through writing this blog. LOL.

February's Book vs. Movie: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

February's Book vs. Movie discussion is The Perks of a Wall Flower by Stephen Chbosky. We'll discuss the background of the book and the plot and then we'll get to my thoughts.

Here's a little bit of background on the novel and the movie:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a coming-of-age epistolary novel by American writer Stephen Chbosky which was first published on February 1, 1999 by Pocket Books. Its narrator is an introverted teenager known as Charlie, who describes his experiences in a series of letters to an anonymous stranger. Set in the early 1990s, the novel follows Charlie through his freshman year of high school in a Pittsburgh suburb. Intelligent beyond his years, he is an unconventional thinker; as the story begins, the reader learns that Charlie is also shy and unpopular.

Chbosky took five years to develop and publish The Perks of Being a Wallflower, creating the characters and other aspects of the story from his own memories. The novel addresses themes permeating adolescence, including introversion, sexuality, and drug use. Chbosky makes several references to other literary works, films and pop culture in general.

Although Chbosky's first book was a commercial success, it was banned in some American schools for its content and received mixed reviews from literary critics. In 2012, he adapted and directed a film version starring Logan Lerman, Ezra Miller and Emma Watson. The film boosted the novel's sales, and the book reached The New York Times Best Seller list.

Here's the Plot: 

The story begins with a quiet, sensitive, 15-year-old boy named Charlie writing letters about his life to an unknown recipient. He discusses his first year at high school, grappling with two traumatic experiences from his past: the suicide of his only middle-school friend, Michael, a year before, and the death of his Aunt Helen (his favorite aunt) during his early childhood.

His English teacher Bill notices Charlie's passion for reading and writing, and assigns him extracurricular books and reports. Charlie befriends senior step-siblings Patrick and Sam. Charlie quickly develops a crush on Sam and subsequently admits his feelings to her. He is accepted by their group of friends and begins experimenting with tobacco, alcohol and other drugs. Charlie witnesses his sister's boyfriend hit her across the face, but she forbids him from telling their parents. He eventually mentions the occurrence to Bill, who tells Charlie's parents about it. Charlie's relationship with his sister rapidly deteriorates and she continues to see her boyfriend against her parents' wishes. As Charlie engages with his new friends he can control his flashbacks of Aunt Helen, who died in a car crash on her way to buy him a birthday gift. Charlie discovers that Patrick is in a relationship with Brad, a deeply closeted player on the school's football team. It is revealed that Sam was sexually abused as a child, and she kisses Charlie to ensure that his first kiss is from someone who truly loves him.

Mary Elizabeth, a member of the group, invites Charlie to the school's Sadie Hawkins dance and the two enter into a desultory relationship. Charlie's dissatisfaction with the relationship grows steadily over the next few weeks, and he begins heavily smoking both marijuana and cigarettes to distract himself. Eventually, the entire group is hanging out together and Charlie is dared to kiss the "prettiest girl in the room;" he chooses Sam over Mary Elizabeth. Mary Elizabeth storms out, Sam grows angry with Charlie, and Patrick suggests that Charlie stay away from Sam for a while. His flashbacks return, so he goes back to seeing a psychiatrist. He discovers that his sister is pregnant and agrees to bring her to an abortion clinic without telling anyone. His sister breaks up with her boyfriend, after which her and Charlie's relationship begins to improve significantly.

Patrick and Brad's relationship is discovered by Brad's abusive father, and Brad disappears from school for a few days. Upon returning, Brad is cold and incommunicative towards Patrick. Patrick's attempts to reconnect with Brad at school over the next few days backfire when Brad derogatorily attacks Patrick's sexuality in a public environment. Patrick physically attacks Brad until other football players join in and gang up on Patrick. Charlie breaks up the fight, regaining the respect of Sam and her friends. Patrick begins spending much of his time with Charlie in an attempt to drown out the lingering negativity surrounding him and Brad. Patrick kisses Charlie impulsively and then apologizes, but Charlie does not resist in an attempt to be a good friend in Patrick's time of need. Soon Patrick sees Brad engaging with a stranger in the park and Patrick is able to move on from the relationship.

As the school year ends, Charlie is anxious about losing his older friends—especially Sam, who is leaving for a summer college-preparatory program and has learned that her boyfriend cheated on her. When Charlie helps her pack, they talk about his feelings for her; she is angry that he never acted on them. They begin to engage sexually, but Charlie suddenly grows inexplicably uncomfortable and stops Sam. Charlie begins to realize that his sexual contact with Sam has stirred up repressed memories of having been molested by his aunt Helen as a child.

In an epilogue, Charlie is discovered by his parents in a trancelike state. He is catatonic and does not show any movement. After being admitted to a mental hospital, it emerges that Helen sexually abused him when he was young, and his love for her (and empathy for her troubled youth) caused him to repress his traumatic memories. This psychological damage explains his flashbacks and derealization phases throughout the book. In two months Charlie is released, and Sam and Patrick visit him. He comes to terms with his past: "Even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there". Charlie decides to "participate" in life, and his letter-writing ends.

The Differences Between the Book and the Movie

The book needed the movie to bring it to life. I liked the book but reading it first almost made me not want to watch the movie. Being that it's written in 2nd person, the reader is limited in what we learn about the characters. Some of the book drags because of the one sided story-telling. However, I think that it is very relevant to today's kids and that it shouldn't be banned from schools. Today's children are much smarter and need books like this to relate to. 

Admittedly, the back part of the book picked up for me and I became more excited about the story as the plot became a little more clear for me. Though by the end of the book I was still unclear as to why Charlie was having a mental break. The writing was good but the plot wasn't clearly laid out.

I was so excited to find this graphic comparing Perks of a Wall Flower and The Breakfast Club because half way through the movie I thought "This is the Breakfast Club of the new generation" and I am HUGE Breakfast Club fan. Its about kids that are seemingly different but bond in a way that nobody understands. I could do an entire blog on the similarities between the two movies, but I'll keep it between the book and the movie.

I was happy that the scenes I didn't care for in the book were cut out of the movie. The movie ran much smoother for me and it was easier to get into right from the beginning. The characters are written better and much stronger in the movie. And even after reading the book, I love that I didn't see the twist about Aunt Helen coming. 

The movie made me care about the other characters and what happened to them. I didn't see Patrick's character coming a million miles away and I LOVE him. He was breath of fresh air and was probably the most 3 dimensional character in the movie.

The common complaint about movies that are made from books, is that they cut out some huge things from the book. In this case, cutting out some things really worked. They were more clear about Charlie's issues and did a better job of incorporating it in the movie.

It is my opinion that the movie is much better than the book in this case. It gets to the heart of the story faster and much better. Perks of Being a Wall Flower touches my heart in the way only few movies have. I am so happy to have watched it. It makes me happy and I feel like someone else gets me.